Hyperactive Knucklehead Samurai
by The Swordslinger
Summary: What if Minato Namikaze had entrusted Naruto not to Sarutobi but a third party to keep him safe and away from the hatred of his fellow shinobi? A look into that setting shows Naruto growing in Iron Country with dreams of being the greatest samurai to ever exist, a man able to battle any ninja despite their tricks. Also, getting a cool sword, that's important too.


I OWN NOTHING

As I wander around wondering how much sanity is left in me I can't help but feel like I need to torture myself. What best way to do so than something many may have done better?

 **XXXXXX**

 _Years ago, a fearsome beast known as the Nine-Tailed Fox attacked the Village Hidden in the Leaf._

 _The Fire Nation suffered many great losses, but none of us would've imagined what would happen._

 _We received a direct request from their leader before his death when he became suspicious of his enemies._

 _If his son were to be in danger, we were to raise him to be strong and safe from those within the village._

 _To accept such an offer would mean wars, distrust, and chaos between villages._

 _But to deny a man's wish for the safety of his own son when he pushes aside his pride…_

 _That is something no samurai would live with._

 _Thus, our story begins many years after that, with an orphan living under his name but without his father's._

 _Only I and a select of my own know who he is, and he will know when he is ready._

 _But for now, this is how one Uzumaki Naruto's legend to become a true samurai begins…_

XXXXXX

"Uzumaki!" shouted a very angry fourteen-year-old.

The sound of wood striking wood echoed in a large dojo as a boy skidded back on bare feet with a bamboo sword. He panted and gasped as he held it with both hands. A golden spiky mane akin to a fuzzy afro shook from the force. Sun kissed skin, whiskered cheeks, and deep blue eyes made the boy look even foxier. His outfit consisted of an orange gi, a red sash, black hakama pants, and green goggles on his forehead.

Gripping the sword tighter into a standard kendo stance, he glared at his opponent, "Bring it, ass-wipe!" he told the boy his age. A crowd of teenagers had formed, making the blond love the attention.

There was an echo in the dojo as not one but two bamboo swords clashed against his, pushing him back further. The one responsible was a paler but regal looking boy with the sides of his head cut short, and with the part at the top of his head longer and combed back. He possessed brown eyes, sharp features, and wore a black kimono with matching slacks. He crossed his swords in front of his chest as the blond grinned.

It irked the other boy enough to launch himself at him, bringing both his swords down in a vertical slash that the blond blocked without being pushed back, holding up his own sword, "I shall snap your body. Just as if it were a twig."

"You ain't a samurai yet, but I'll happily beat the smugness out of you!" the blond replied before they pushed each other back.

Without even catching their breath, they charged once again, the boy in black swatting aside the blond youth's strike and readying his other sword for another, "Wide open, Uzumaki!" he was about to strike him in the face, only for the whiskered child to punch him before he could, making him stagger back.

"Hmm… That Uzumaki really holds nothing back." Said another boy their age, just as the black clad teen kicked the blond in the face to push him away, "Kurouzu's no different, though."

"Better that way." Answered a rather tomboyish girl just as the blond went in for the offensive, forcing his opponent to wildly swing both his bamboo swords to block the barrage of heavy strikes. "In the field, we samurai must be prepared for everything."

Her mousy face didn't distract from her lack of assets, though her hips had a natural curvature even women envied. At least her breasts had grown to a point she could turn a couple heads. Few boys dared to admit they stared at her longer than needed if she stretched. Other than that, the orange hair tied in a short top ponytail which shade resembled a candy made her stand out. Her arms had some muscle to them, hidden in a yellow gi, and she wore a black hakama cut at the knees like a pair of shorts. However, her face and voice were the definition of deadpan.

"Can we really call them proper samurais, Kyouka?" Asked another student, just as the two fighters got into a stalemate, "They'd rather jump at someone to punch them in the face than put up their guards."

"What started this one?" she asked in a monotone, sitting down to observe the fight without straining his legs.

As she asked that, the two fighters pushed each other away and returned to their clash, Kurouzu jumping in the air and spinning around, bringing both swords from the same side to strike the blond. The whiskered boy managed to block it by pressing the bamboo on his shoulder and arm, using a hand to keep it in place while letting his arm take the double strike. He didn't let the teen in the kimono get away, and tackled him with his shoulder, but not without getting hit by his knee on the stomach.

"The latest dispute they had was over who had better grades, an easy win for Kurouzu until Uzumaki challenged him saying grades meant nothing in battle." The closest student answered as he also sat down.

Bamboo swords clashed repeatedly as the two teens stopped giving a damn about defense and kept trying to hit the other.

"I saw it." Kyouka heard a teen on her right say, "It was during archery. Uzumaki wasn't patient enough and fired before he should, missing the bullseye. He'd have just tried again and again, but Kurouzu had to rub salt into the wound saying his skills were subpar at best. That's when it all happened."

Kyouka sighed, "He said he only needs one sword to beat his two-sword style, right?" the girl groaned, put her hands on the back of her head, and lied down. "Stupid if you ask me." she started without a care and looked at the ceiling, "But for all his flaws, you gotta admit Uzumaki's at least good. Prodigy or not, Kurouzu and him always seem evenly matched when it comes to swords."

Both battling teens roared at the top of their lungs, weapons raised high… and stopped by a pair of strong hands, "Kurouzu! Uzumaki!" shouted their sensei.

Once again, both screamed, but this time out of fear and shock when the man clad in the typical Iron Country signature armor flung them like ragdolls by their practice swords and threw them to the ground. After getting a harsh lecture on how stupid and reckless they were for the umpteenth time, they were forced to wash the entire armory late into the night.

"Fine mess you got us into, Uzumaki." The boy in black growled as he wiped the hundredth helmet of that evening and moved to the next.

"You chose to fight, asshole." The blond growled back, both locking glares, "And last I recall, I almost beat you this once."

His fellow disciple got up, "Last I recall, you haven't beaten me once!"

Naruto was shorter, but he stood up too to face him in the eye, "And have you beaten me yet!?"

Pushing their foreheads together, the two bared their teeth and were ready to fight, if not for two bars of soap hitting their temples, hard.

As they nursed the lumps, their sensei spoke, "Naruto, Ryuji, you better start wiping the floors now."

"What!?" they shouted in shock.

"If you got energy for another fight, you've got more than enough to clean more." The man walked away, leaving the two to groan.

They sighed, glared at each other one last time, and went back to business.

At least until Naruto noted something, "Damn! A real sword!" he pulled it out behind an armor, a bright grin on his face, "Whoever was moron enough to let this baby behind made my day!"

He pulled it out… only to realize its blade was wooden, causing Ryuji to chuckle, "Pfft-hahahaha! That fits you, Uzumaki! May as well be the closest you'll get to a real katana!"

"You saw nothing yet!" Naruto retorted, "The graduation's coming soon, and I will get one!"

His words made Ryuji stare at him coldly but seriously.

"The sword only accepts the strong." he told him as he rolled up his sleeves, "It's not only because it takes longer to make a sword than a spear. Only the elite get them. That's why only the best are allowed to use this country's armor. And you, a dolt with no skill in everything else but swinging a sword, wants one. The only way to get one as rookies is if you have a family who earned theirs and they deem you worthy."

"Is that why you're mad?" Naruto retorted with a glare of his own, "That I can be as worthy of one as you?"

Ryuji snickered, "Would you get one, though?" he then glared, "A samurai being like you is downright insulting! If you were to get a real sword and earn it, I may change my mind. But as it stands, you are still another loudmouth out of the bunch-"

He got a reply in the form of a bar of soap in his mouth, "My aim's good." Naruto retorted, angering him.

The sound of ruckus caused their sensei to arrive to see the two punching each other, Naruto holding Ryuji's lapel while said boy put a hand on the other's face to keep him away. After another set of lumps were put on their heads, the two were forced to also wax the floor.

XXXXXX

The next day at the dojo, some people were confused, "Kyouka, why are you carrying those two?" one of the senseis asked.

"Passed out at the floor." The girl had no trouble carrying both boys on her shoulders or replying in a monotone, "Apparently, they turned their last cleaning duty into a competition and exhausted themselves."

As she took the two angry teens off her shoulders and put them on the floor, to which her sensei commented, "I am unsurprised yet amazed at that dedication to hate each other."

"Why would that be?" Kyouka asked, none too gently using a finger to poke Ryuji's cheek, "His family takes things so seriously this would be a shame to them. So, why does he act this way?"

"Beats me, but we should get them something to eat before classes start." The armored man answered, scratching the back of his head, "I only have rice balls, though."

"Excuse me?" the girl and the sensei turned to the door, where a tiny girl a year younger than Kyouka stood.

She was cute as a button. Pale skin was greatly contrasted by her wearing a black kimono with a golden dragon pattern at the ankles and sleeves, held tightly with a crimson sash. Dark hair was cut into an adorable bob with evenly cut bangs. Her face's round and mousy appearance didn't distract from two piercing red eyes. Despite being just a year younger, she was growing a few curves. And in her hands was a lunchbox.

"Who're you, Tiny?" Kyouka asked bluntly if still using her dead-fish eyes, examining her.

The girl beamed, "I'm Kiyomi Kurouzu, is my brother al- Ah, Naruto-san!" the girl's cheeks gained a small pink hue and strained with a large smile.

She dusted her kimono and walked to the blond boy's side, still smiling and pulling out another lunchbox.

"What…? Sis? Did I hear her voice?" Ryuji asked as he groggily woke up, rubbing the back of his head, only to see her tending to Naruto, "Uzumaki…"

His growl stirred Naruto awake, "Ugh… it's too early to deal with you, jack-" he blinked upon seeing Kiyomi's face, "Why does your voice comes from someone as cute as Ki-chan?"

As that unfolded, the orange-haired girl put the pieces together, "That explains it." She said under her breath without changing her deadpan expression.

"Thanks for the compliment, but my brother's behind me." the girl giggled, handing him the second lunchbox, "Ah, before I forget! You once said you hadn't gotten decent meals, so I have learned how to cook! I hope you are no longer bothered by hunger in your training."

Ryuji was about to try to fight Naruto, only to be held single-armed by Kyouka, who carried him over her shoulder, "You calm down and eat, or do you wanna make her sad?"

He was about to reply after she put him down, but Kiyomi had gone to them without having seen what the ponytailed girl did, "I made you one too, brother."

"Uh, thanks…" he answered and inwardly sighed in defeat.

Naruto, though, wasn't as kind, "Wonder what a guy like you did to deserve someone like Ki-chan."

Said girl giggled, while her brother growled in pure anger, Kyouka keeping him at an arm's distance as the tiny girl spoke, "Please, don't be mean to my brother, Naruto-san. I've heard people say you two fight a lot and are really good with swords. I hope to one day be as good." She had a beaming smile, making the blond grin.

"If you want to, I can give you a few pointers. I know a couple ways to get to your brother with only one sword." He boasted, sitting up and taking a bite out of the rice ball she made for him.

Ryuji had to be held back by his sensei and Kyouka while Kiyomi had her back turned to him, "I'd love to! Our style is commonly used since we teach it to those who want and earn it, but I'd like to make it better. I know for a fact that's something my brother is becoming a samurai for, among other things."

Smirking like a devil, Naruto spoke while trying to keep his eyes on Kiyomi, "He says he wants to make sure no lousy guys become samurais, and he still has trouble beating a punk like me." He really wanted to see if Ryuji had popped a vein in anger, but the small girl's cute giggle and grin were more than good enough.

It didn't help at all when Kyouka noted something, "I guess she has a thing for bad boys."

"Uzumaki!"

And there was a repeat of the events from yesterday after Ryuji tackled the blond, the two crashing into some of the practice swords before each grabbed their own.

Kiyomi looked stunned, "Um… brother, what about your breakfast?"

As the dark-haired boy kept Naruto in a stalemate, he replied surprisingly calm, "Please toss it here."

Naruto nodded, now calmer, "Yeah, could you do that for me too?"

"Sure." The tiny girl threw the lunchboxes.

Soon the two boys were fighting while eating. Naruto used one hand to stuff rice balls in his mouth, while Ryuji alternated between swords to do the same.

"I don't know if I should be amazed or disappointed that these two are so serious about beating each other." Their sensei told Kyouka.

"Don't look at me, I've been on that fence ever since they set foot here." She said with her usual look and tone.

XXXXXX

After classes ended, Naruto was walking with red greaves in which he put his hakama's legs in, giving them a ballooning effect.

He was also fuming, "For crying out loud, that guy should get a life. Who cares if cute little Ki-chan is nice to me?"

"He does." Said an elderly voice, and the boy turned to see an old man with a string mustache, a beard, and a katana on his hip.

"Old fart Mifune?" he asked to the bandages-for-a-cap wearing, very long haired, and leader of the samurais clad in his robes.

Sighing at the boy's attitude, the elder samurai held a pipe to his lips, "Once again, you're fighting, boy. I thought I taught you better than that."

"You did." The blond nodded with a cocky grin, "I'm still doing my damn best to take that title from you. Strongest samurai, remember."

The elder kept his cool as he walked along the boy, "If you keep that mindset, you'll dull your blade."

"Only if I get one." Naruto grumbled, "Ugh, why do rules have to be such a pain in the ass? Come on, you know I'm better with a blade than most of the other kids. And they use that asswipe's style."

"This country uses the dual sword style for a reason." The man replied calmly, "Two swords, two hands, perfect balance in defense and attack."

"And yet your style relies on a single sword." The blond pointed out, "It's another reason I want to be the strongest."

"What does being the strongest mean to you, boy?" the samurai was curious. "You keep claiming you'll take my place, but your skills with everything other than your single-sword style are subpar at best."

"Because you know how ninjas are." Was Naruto's strong reply, frowning, "After all, I've heard of their jutsus. They got so much power and are so strong that people look down on us." He grit his teeth, clenching a fist up, "Like Hell I'd let them think we're weaklings! You're living proof we're strong, old fart! Even if I can't fight as good as guys like that jerk Kurouzu, I will be the samurai who will make everyone bow to his skills and strength! I'll make everyone recognize that I'm the strongest, so no one can deny it! And then, I'll be there to stop evil ninjas from harming good people like my parents!"

Mifune closed his eyes, ' _Telling him about what happened to his parents was meant for his own good. Despite keeping some details from him, he had a right to know that someone betrayed them. Naruto, now that you have told me such things, what is it that you really want? Revenge? Or could you want something better?_ '

"Hey, old fart." The blond said, without turning to him, "Is there a way I could get a sword of my own?"

Mifune returned to reality but kept his eyes on the boy, "Of course, being one of the best students, for starters. You're a long way from achieving that, though."

"I've heard from that asshat that I could get one through family, so… does that mean if I have a blade to my name, I can use it?" he asked, worrying the elder.

"Boy, what's on your mind?"

"Just wondering what it'll cost me to get one." Naruto sighed tiredly.

Mifune let out a breath he didn't know he held, ' _Still the same. Well, the graduation will come soon, and no one can deny that despite his shortcomings he's a good swordsman._ '

"Oh, Uzumaki. Mifune-sama." Called a familiar voice as the two rounded to see Kyouka at a meat bun stand she worked at, a small shop with a counter and a few stools.

"Yo." The boy greeted back.

"Good afternoon, my child." Mifune said with a nod of his head.

"I heard people rambling about swords and thought one of them sounded familiar." She said and pulled out two plates, "How about you grab a bite?"

"Sure!" the blond sat down quickly.

Mifune looked at the stools and took a few seconds before sitting on one, "Something light for me, please. I do not hunger much."

"No problem." She said and pulled out a pot with meat buns in it, "What were you two talking about anyways? Was Mifune-sama scolding you for another fight?"

"I stopped trying when seeing how little it affects him." The man replied, "But I still repeat myself whenever he's not home for entire nights."

"You could just quit, you know?" the blond asked. "Besides, I was asking him if there'd be a good way to get a sword without being on the top students list. You're there, right, Kyouka-nee-chan?"

"Yeah, but I don't think swords are my thing." She answered softly, "I am more comfortable with a spear on my hands. Besides, they're cheaper and I find them less troublesome to maintain than swords."

"But I want one." Naruto answered, grinning as he tried to picture his ideal sword, "A blade capable of cutting anything and stop anyone. I'd use it to put a halt to evil ninjas and make sure that people watch my back when I'm protecting them as one of a truly strong samurai!"

"Watch your back?" Kyouka echoed.

Nodding excitedly, Naruto beamed, "I wish I could be that kinda samurai, you know! So strong everyone has to respect him, but also capable of beating anyone, even if they are powerful shinobi!" he pumped a fist, "To let others see my back would mean I'd protect them from anything! That they wouldn't have to be afraid of anyone who'd harm them or their loved ones!"

Kyouka whistled, "And here I thought you were a loudmouth."

"Hey!"

"Well, who or what gave you the idea?" she asked, unfazed by his reaction.

He frowned, but answered, "Ki-chan, did." He crossed his arms, "Back when we were little, she was getting bullied by some kids bigger than me. Of course, I had barely begun training, so I lost… badly." He looked at the ground with a sneer.

In that memory, he was a six-year-old wearing black shorts and an orange vest, holding up his fists as he punched three boys twice his size. Despite punching with all his might, the bullies shrugged it off easily due to being students at the dojo with far more experience. Kiyomi still had her cut bob and stared worriedly as he stood before her, his back turned to her.

"Why're you protecting that little princess?" one of them asked, "She's got pretty dresses by the thousands because of who her family is! Doesn't that piss you off!? Come on, she eats the best of meals just because her ancestors were strong. We unlucky ones have to earn our food. Stick together, or stand aside."

"Done with your little speech?" Naruto asked, lifting his fists again, "Because I am going to break your jaw, so say all you want now!"

He was swiftly kicked to the face, and yet despite getting beat up, the other boys had to recognize something, much to their shock.

"Oi… this freak ain't staying down…" one of the bullies noted, panting.

Another took in a deep, ragged, tired breath, "The Hell're you doing!? Stay down!"

"As if…" Naruto, with a black eye, blood dripping down his lips, and determined fire in his eyes, brought up his fists again, "You guys aren't leaving that easy!"

"Tch… fine!" one of them said and punched Naruto faster than the boy could react, getting him to fall.

And he still stood up, "Was that… your best…?" the blond asked while breathing heavily.

"Grr… little freak!" one of them was about to continue, until seeing someone behind Naruto, "M-Mifune-sama!"

"Hope you boys had a good time, because we'll talk." He said as he stood before Naruto, his back turned to the boy and the girl who tried to take care of him, "Go home, Naruto. I can handle them. As for the little lady, please escort him. For now, these boys will have to tell their parents why they're expelled from the academy."

"What!?" they yelped with horror on their faces.

Mifune glared at them hard enough to freeze them, and if looks could kill even the infamous nine-tailed fox would've been six feet under, "Do you realize what you've done!? Samurais are meant to protect those who can't protect themselves! The sword only recognizes strength, yes! But it's the strength to keep those behind us safe! If you're willing to pick fights for your ego, you're no better than mangy mutts!"

Naruto observed how the man stood tall and proud before him, and even if little Kiyomi was helping him walk away, that image stood with him, burnt into his memory.

Mifune smiled, ' _Seems like he learned something good._ ' Then gave the blond another look, ' _I hope he does well. But what does Kiyomi-chan have to do with that story?_ '

As if reading his mind, the rest of Naruto's explanation answered it, "Ki-chan was then very nice to me. She said I was like old fart Mifune. From then on, she started being nice to me. To think that even if I couldn't be as strong as Gramps here she still thanked me for trying… Man, she's really nice."

True enough, and if it wasn't obvious already, the girl was more than fond of Naruto for his selfless if reckless actions. Needless to say, he enjoyed it.

Kyouka sighed, "Must be nice for her, though also sad that she's after someone so…"

"What're you talking about, Kyouka-nee?" the blond asked confusedly.

"Just girl stuff." She answered with a shrug.

Leaning his head to the side, Naruto pointed out something, "You're not very girly, though."

Rather than being mad, Kyouka turned around after taking his plate, "Then I guess you're not hungry."

"Wait, Kyouka-nee, sorry! Don't take the food!" the blond pleaded over the counter.

Mifune sighed, "He's got a long way to go…"

XXXXXX

Nighttime.

As Naruto rested in his small but comfy one-room apartment, he walked to his fridge to grumble, "Ugh… I knew I forgot something! Dammit, now I got to buy groceries… Oh well, I did want to dine out."

Putting on his greaves and moving to his door, he expected nothing like what he had before him, "Uzumaki…" said Ryuji, looking worried rather than angry.

It did surprise Naruto enough to look into that rather than the irritation the dark-haired boy caused him, "What're you doing here?"

"Kiyomi-chan isn't home." He said with his arms crossed, "I figured I'd catch her bringing you something to eat since I saw her at the kitchen. Have you seen her around?"

"No, but what's going on? Is Ki-chan missing?" Naruto was actually concerned.

Ryuji grit his teeth, "I'd rather not think the worst, but so far there hasn't been any contact from her or anyone who's seen her. If worst comes to it, I'll deal with whoever harms her personally." He gripped a couple of swords on his left hip, real katanas. Both were simple in design and with black sheathes and handles, as well as circular golden guards and pummels.

"Wait a second, is it that serious?" baffled didn't begin to describe how Naruto felt seeing the other boy so ready for blood.

"I've come here to ask for your help in finding her, yes." Ryuji answered aggressively, "Anyway, I shouldn't waste time here. If you see her, let me know."

He was about to leave, but the whiskered boy followed him, "Wait, dammit! You ain't the only one who's now worried for her!"

"Stay out of this, it's your fault she came out in the first place!" Ryuji shouted.

Both felt ready to fight, but Naruto shook his head, "I don't care what an asshat like you has to say! Listen, Ki-chan could be hurt, do you really not want any help to find her?"

Grunting at the reply, Ryuji swallowed his pride, "Fine, I'll concede and say I'm mad. But if you find her, don't lay a finger on her."

It seemed both couldn't really work together, "I've got a better idea, why don't you take those swords and shove them right up your-"

"Stop it, you two." Said a familiar deadpan voice, "Listen to me for a change, alright?"

Both turned, Ryuji confused, "What're you doing here, Kyouka?"

"Found this at an alley nearby." She held up a lunchbox, a familiar one, "There was a trail of rice leading me around the street and I thought something might have upset Kiyomi-chan. Since Uzumaki lives her, I was going to ask if he knew what was going on."

"It's one of Ki-chan's lunchboxes, but she didn't bring me any…" Naruto commented.

"Nice observation, genius." Ryuji wasn't thinking straight, "So, did you see her?"

"No, but I think the trail leads to the village's entrance…" she said, and a sense of worry settled in them.

"Where is it!?" Ryuji exclaimed, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"D-Down the street, two blocks to the right." the orange-haired girl got out after the dark-clad boy shook her.

Both Naruto and Kyouka saw him run off, "Dammit, we gotta do something."

Kyouka nodded, closing her eyes for a second, "Yes, we should-" she saw that he had gone to give chase to Ryuji and spoke in a sarcastic deadpan, "-forget about calling any adult and follow a kidnapper." She gave a low groan and moved a hand inside her gi, "At least I always come prepared… Ugh, I better catch to them soon."

Back with both boys, they were running after small handfuls of rice on the streets, turning left and right until nearing the gates to the city.

"This has to be it…" Ryuji said, grinding his teeth, "If they took this path, then they must be about to cross the… Uzumaki?"

"I worry about her too, asswipe." The blond answered, "If anything happens to her, I will kick your ass for not telling me sooner."

"Don't tempt me to beat you senseless." Ryuji grumbled, "Do you know what is up ahead?"

"The route outside the village, why?" Naruto asked.

Ryuji grumbled, "You pay no attention to classes, I see." He shook his head to take a grip, "No. What's ahead is an old and abandoned battle ground. Samurai don't go there since some believe it is haunted by many spirits who lost their lives fighting some demon. There were shinobi involved, but all we could do was hold it back. That monster then stormed off, leaving many dead samurai behind. Now only their weapons, armor and mournful souls rest there… So if we go there, be damn sure not to say or do anything stupid, asshole."

Naruto blinked, "Did you actually swear?"

"That's where my father rests…" Ryuji told him, tension in the air, "He died so many of his comrades could make it back, proving the strength of his blade by battling that being with no one around him. Should you or anyone like you dare mock what a samurai like him really is, I will make you regret such a choice."

Without saying another word, Ryuji moved forward, leaving Naruto to grumble as he gave chase, "Not like you could manage." He whispered with a smirk.

Soon the rice led the boys to a large old wall, with many warning signs telling them not to go in. Its rocky structure had barely been affected by time, and its height was nothing to sneeze at. Despite that, a hole was easily seen on one side, and they found more rice on it. Once they entered the place, they could see why it was not only abandoned but walled up.

"So this is…" Ryuji gaped.

"Insane…" Naruto breathed out in equal shock.

Armors covered the ground along the bones and skulls of their owners. Broken blades rested everywhere, rocks and grass covering the other part of the landscape. But the bigger background was the massive and downright intimidating crater big enough to house its own village where all the forgotten remains of the battle rested. Nature had started to reclaim it, but the skeletons and their possessions drew an eerie picture.

Goosebumps ran up and down the boys' spines, but the sight of more rice had Ryuji clench his teeth, "Be mindful of them. They were fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters of our village."

"What monster caused this?" Naruto asked, walking behind Ryuji when the other boy moved forward.

"Some crazy shinobi." Ryuji explained, "The main villages have always been tense around one another. From what I heard, one of them wanted to use the beast for their own war to eliminate some of their own."

"What kind of shit is that!?" Naruto asked, mad, "Killing their own people!? Why do such bullshit!?"

Ryuji shook his head, "Apparently, it was to cleanse the weak, or the impure, or something like that." He sighed, "Listen, we don't have time for a history lesson. Kiyomi-chan could be nearby."

Naruto gulped but nodded, "Then… are you going to lend me one of your swords?"

Ryuji blinked, "Wait, why would I even do that?"

"Because I don't have a weapon, asshole!" Naruto exclaimed, "You expect me to fight with my bare fists while you have real swords!?"

"I expected you to stay out of this!" he said as he stepped closer to the blond.

"And leave Ki-chan alone!? Hell no!" the blue-eyed lad said as he pressed his forehead on the taller boy's.

"Whatever, you ain't getting these." Ryuji didn't break contact or the stare, "They were my father's, so I'd be dead before someone as undisciplined and reckless as you breaks them!"

"Then what do you expect me to do, bite their ankles!?" Naruto exclaimed, angry and tired.

Ryuji sighed and took a step back, "Ugh… Well, there's plenty of swords lying around…"

"Didn't you say spirits are around here?" Naruto asked, nervous as he guessed where Ryuji was headed.

"Then run off." Ryuji told him, "If you're not going to help me, get out of my way."

Growling, Naruto looked around before noticing something that caught his eye, "Huh…" he walked to a rock, noticing a handle under it.

Ryuji stared, "What are you… doing…?" he was baffled when his fellow disciple of the sword kneeled before the rock, clasped his hands as if to pray, and bowed his head.

"Please, let me make good use of this sword." He told the blade as if it could hear him, "Whoever was the master, watch over me and let me use it to keep others safe like a real samurai."

"What're you doing?" Ryuji asked a bit louder and firmer.

"Paying respect." Naruto was quick to answer, "If they died protecting others, I want whoever owned this to know I can make them proud if they lend me this sword. And…" he swallowed some spit, "…if I take this sword, it'd be mine. It could be the blade to help me be the strongest samurai ever. Of course, I want to pay some respect to it and its owner."

"Tch… we're still wasting time." Ryuji said and looked at the trail, "I'll go on ahead, you can get lost or help, I don't care anymore."

Watching him leave, Naruto shook his head and gripped the handle, "Listen, that guy may be an asshat, but his sister's one of the few who's really nice to me. Please, let me use this sword to bring her back home."

XXXXXX

"Anyone! Is there someone around!?" Kyouka asked as she ran around the main building, finding no soul to answer her call, "Dammit, where have they all gone to?"

A samurai ran by her, but she was quick to stop him by getting in his way, "What're you doing? Stand aside!"

"This is important, a girl's missing, and-" she started, but the samurai pushed her to the side.

"Like many others, now please leave and wait for us to do something about it." He ran off before she could get another word in.

"I know where-" she sighed and returned to her usual deadpan expression, "No use. This is getting out of hand if there are more people missing, but why…?" she clicked her tongue and turned to the streets, "I can't let those two alone any longer."

For her part, Kiyomi wasn't doing as well as she was bound and tied by some shinobi who kept her and other girls from her village tied up. They were inside a cave hidden in the crater, barely visible.

"This is the last of them." Said one of the shinobi sporting Mist headbands with a gash on them.

"Should be good enough." Another said, "Once we can contact the boss, it'll be up to them to put that beast inside one of these kids, and then…" he grinned, letting the idea sink in to the other ninjas.

"Shame, they're all so cute." One of them sighed tiredly while pulling out a kunai, "Well, so long as our village stops being a pestering hole for parasites, I'm all up for it. Who cares if one or two die? If the mongrel plaguing Mist are gone, I may as well carry the damn monster to crush this and any other place."

"But to think the boss would target this of all places, a neutral country… There's some big plan here."

Kiyomi kept her mouth shut and pulled out the remains of the rice balls she made for Naruto earlier that day, trying to contain her hunger, ' _I'm so tired… and hungry… but I need to keep these… Someone may find us. Naruto-kun, sorry. I wanted to make you a nice dinner, but I'm probably making everyone worry…_ ' her eyes started to feel heavy, worrying her. ' _N-No, I can't sleep… If they move us again, I can't…_ '

"OI!"

Everyone turned to the cave's entrance to see Ryuji growling, holding both unsheathed swords in the standard pose, "How did this punk find us?" one of the shinobi asked.

Aiming one of the blades at them, Ryuji answered him, "That doesn't matter, I'm here to take back everyone and show you what Hell is like!" he raced at them, crossing his swords in front of him, "Prepare to meet Lord Enma full of regrets!" he shouted and got close to them.

One of the shinobi had a pair of shuriken with Ryuji's name on them, throwing them only to see the boy slice both in half with one sword while keeping the other back. He jumped at the attacking ninja, striking him with his second blade only to see it stopped by a kunai. Gritting his teeth, the young swordsman kicked him to get off and tried to slice him again, only for a different ninja to stop him with a large shuriken.

"Mizuki's the name." said a Leaf shinobi with long silver hair, a bandana carrying his village's symbol and a smirk as he spun not one but two large shurikens on his hands. "Sorry kiddo, but you're far over your head. These guys may be renegades, but I'm a Chuunin, almost a Jounin. I am not the average shinobi you'd find recently graduated."

Ryuji kept his ground, observing all six of his enemies, "Renegades and a traitor shinobi, what's going on here?"

"Our boss has some plans in getting ahead of others, by any means necessary." The way Mizuki said it angered the other boy. "Which means you can't leave this place with your eyes open."

The other five ninjas rushed at the lone samurai. All carried out their kunais, ready for a kill. Ryuji blocked the first, a stab to his heart, with a sword. Then clashed his second sword against two more shinobi's blades to push them off, but the other two used the openings to get to him. Not only that, but Mizuki had thrown his Fuma shuriken, aiming right for his head without a second's hesitation.

Attempting to fight back, think of a strategy or even pray were a waste of time, he didn't have any time to react or even-

"Oi, assholes!" shouted a very annoying but familiar voice as a blade pushed off the other shinobi and even returned the shurikens at Mizuki, who caught them with a shocked expression. "There's only one person who gets to beat up this jackass until he cries, and that's I, Uzumaki Naruto!"

Taking a moment to observe the boy, Ryuji noticed he had his goggles on, and a large sword hefted on his right shoulder. It was a katana which was a good five inches longer than normal ones. It also seemed to fit Naruto as an impractical samurai due to not being like regular katanas. The golden handguard was akin to a sai's, a two-prong hilt. The handle was covered in red laces for a firmer grip, and the golden pummel had a spiral pattern. Last but not least, its pitch-black sheath was kept in Naruto's sash like a proper samurai's.

"What're you-" Ryuji started, only to gape when the boy raced at the nearest shinobi with both hands on his sword, still hefting it over his shoulder.

The renegade shinobi stopped Naruto's strike with one kunai and grinned as he readied another, "You're too damn predictable, brat!" he shouted and stabbed at Naruto… only for his other blade to be stopped by the blond boy's, "WHAT!?"

Crying in shock and fear, the ninja started to step back as he used his kunais the best he could to stop an onslaught of slashes from the small goggle-wearing boy. Ryuji was reminded why he hated but accepted any and all opportunities to fight Naruto: his tenacity. While not as refined as others, once Naruto started fighting the whiskered swordsman wouldn't let up, like a fox biting on a rabbit's neck. The shinobi backpedaled as he tried and failed to keep the kid at bay. He had to be helped by another, but once that ninja got close, Naruto turned around, kicked him in the gut, and started to attack him without stopping.

Seeing that, Ryuji smirked and charged, "You're still too sloppy, Uzumaki!" he said as he went after one of the ninjas after the blond, stopping three kunais aimed at the whiskered swordsman and facing off against another shinobi.

"Just don't die and make Ki-chan cry!" Naruto retorted as he got into a stalemate with his opponent before brutally head-butting him, breaking his nose, "If you do that, I'll take you out of Hell itself to beat you!"

Ryuji instinctively moved one of his swords to his back, blocking a strike from one of his attackers before kicking him off, turning and disarming him, "That's my line!" he said as he was about to strike his enemy, but the other was right there to try to stop him with both kunais. Getting into a stalemate of his own, he kneed his opponent's gut to get some space.

Mizuki was tired and aimed at the blond, "Forgetting something, aren't you?" he said and threw both weapons.

Naruto was ready to slice them and swung his blade, only to miss greatly. Mizuki had pulled at some wires connecting his fingers to the shurikens, moving the throwing weapons midair. Naruto clenched his teeth as they came at him from behind… Only for the weapons to hit none other than Kiyomi. The Chuunin growled as he yanked out his weapons to recover them, sneering at the miss.

"Kiyomi!" Ryuji screamed in horror, getting distracted and thus kicked in the face, with a foot keeping his head on the ground.

Naruto raced at the girl, holding her while she shook in pain, "It hurts! Hurts!" she cried, tears leaking down her cheeks from the blade lodged in her side.

"Ki-chan…" he was at a loss, unsure of what to say or do, "Hey, wait for me, alright!? I'll beat all these guys up and get you back home! When we're there, we can eat more of your delicious cooking! How's that!?" a trembling smile crept on the boy's face.

Kiyomi sobbed, "It… It really hurts… but…" she looked at him, smiling, "You… You were a real samurai… Coming here for me… Thank…" Life left the girl's eyes as she fell limp on Naruto's arms, her eyelids shut.

The blue-eyed swordsman felt his body tense, unsure of what to say or do. "K-Kiyomi…" Ryuji gasped, "This is a lie… It's a dream, an illusion… Oi Uzumaki, tell her to wake up!" he cried, "Tell Kiyomi to get up! I also want to taste her cooking! Tell her! Dammit! Uzumaki Naruto, wake her up!"

"I heard you…" the blond said as he hugged Kiyomi, a flash of red in his eyes. Gripping his sword tighter, he laid the girl gently on the ground, "Once this is over, we'll have some rice balls with her…" he glared at the shinobi, his pupils turning into slits while his whiskers grew thicker, "It will have to wait, though. I have to make every single one of these bastards regret existing first!"

"Don't mock us, you brat!" one of the shinobi shouted as he raced at him with both kunais.

Pride turned to horror when everyone could see the shot blades shatter when Naruto's blade, glowing with crimson charka, clashed against them and cut his chest open!

"This kid's mad!" one of the shinobi shrieked, stepping back.

Mizuki growled, "You know what failing means! Kill him already or it's all our heads!"

Letting out a battle cry, Naruto charged at them with his eyes burning with hatred. Ryuji watched in shock as one of the shinobi got close and disappeared in a cloud of smoke, reappearing behind the blond with his kunais ready. However, the whiskered swordsman didn't give him a chance to strike as he turned around, spun his blade in his hands, and slashed his stomach horizontally before swiftly cutting his chest diagonally.

Ryuji was shocked, but just as mad as he gripped his own swords tighter and stabbed the leg of the shinobi stomping his leg, making him cry before rolling away. Back on his feet, the dark-haired boy rushed at them once again with both swords at his sides. Seeing Mizuki just fueled the boys' anger, and that surprisingly made them deadlier. Due to having no reason to hold back or motivation to care what happened, they just charged at him and the remaining ninjas.

One of their enemies moved his hands in swift motions, creating signs before pulling back with a deep breath, "Fire Ball Technique!" he shouted as he spat fire at them… Only to see Ryuji jump over it and stab both his shoulders while landing with his feet on the ninja's chest, crushing him on the ground.

"Shit… they're seriously strong, we have to-" the other started, but stopped when a sharp blade went through his back, "M-Mizuki… you… bast…"

Kicking off his former comrade, the cruel man that harmed Kiyomi sneered, "Useless, the lot of you. If you can't serve the boss, why bother living?" he scowled at the boys, rolling his shoulders with his hands twirling the large shurikens, "Don't expect to die fast now, brats."

"Same to you!" Naruto held his sword beside his head, the tip aimed forward and the blade parallel to the ground, "Don't think for a second I'm forgiving a selfish asshole like you! Using people, harming your own just for your damn benefit… You're just a sickening piece of evil shit!"

"Evil?" Mizuki smirked cruelly, "Pretty big words from a brat? All I am is a shinobi doing what's best for his village and true boss. See, it doesn't matter who's right or wrong, only who wins. Like that little girl who's on the floor now, once you're not useful then you're just a loser."

"You'll do more than lose this fight…" Ryuji started, crossing his swords, his eyes freezing the air with cold hatred, "I'm bringing you to justice so you can answer for all you've done. And don't think for a second that I am merciful. Killing you is too nice, and I won't dare say or even think that your life is worth Kiyomi's…"

Mizuki found the right nerve to strike, "Indeed, mine is more valuable than a corpse's."

"It means we'll make you wish you were in Hell by the time we're done with you!" Naruto stated as he and Ryuji charged.

Both were against a Chuunin, though, meaning that they shouldn't have been surprised that both of Ryuji's swords were stopped by one of the shurikens and Naruto's blade by the other. The ninja smirked at them to further mock them as he vanished in a whirl of wind and leaves, reappearing right behind them with his weapons drawn… only to be kicked in the face by a black slipper shoe.

"Sorry for the delay!" Kyouka said as she landed on her feet, pulling out three rods from her gi along a blade, "I left a note and a trail for the others to come get us. For now," she put them together in an instant to hold out her weapon, a naginata, "let me help." She twirled the long spear, the one-edged blade on top cutting the air as she expertly moved it in her hands.

Getting a glare from the normally deadpan girl angered Mizuki, who was nursing a bloody nose, "Damn brats… Just because you're together doesn't mean you can do anything."

Three simultaneous cries of "Like we care!" echoed in the cave as the samurai hopefuls charged at Mizuki.

Chuunin or not, the man knew he was at a disadvantage and used his shurikens to block Ryuji's side strike from both blades, which were aimed at his liver. Instantly, he had to parry Naruto's stab to his stomach that would've painted the floor red with the white-haired ninja's blood. The goggles-wearing boy's strike lifted him two inches from the ground, but it was nothing compared to what happened next. With her own battle cry, Kyouka slammed her spear on the shinobi's gut like he was a baseball and she the star batter of a team. With insane strength hidden in her small yet muscular frame, she sent him flying ten yards into a wall.

"W-What the Hell…?" he gasped as he slid down, with a crack on the solid rock from his back impacting on it.

"Naruto, jump!" Kyouka commanded, twirling her spear and giving him the hint needed.

After a quick nod, the blond jumped at her naginata, putting his feet on it to get propelled at Mizuki like a bullet. With his sword ready, he slashed at the ninja, who brought up his shurikens only to see them shatter from the boy's and the orange-haired lass' strength combined. And using the collision that slowed down his fall, Naruto used the remaining momentum to kick Mizuki hard in the face. Teeth flew out, and the man fell and rolled back, landing on his knees with a sneer.

"Don't let him get away!" Naruto shouted at Ryuji.

"Like I need you to tell me that!" the dark-haired boy shouted back.

Mizuki was about to curse, but Ryuji was right in front of him, both swords over his right shoulder as he moved them as one, leaving two slashes that went from Mizuki's left pectoral to his right hip. Naruto jumped at him as soon as he landed, his new sword in a low stance with the tip near the ground. Bringing up the blade, he gave a diagonal slash from the ninja's left hip to his right shoulder, creating an X shape. And to finish it off, Kyouka rammed her naginata on the man's left shoulder, nailing him to the wall.

"Just try getting out now…" Ryuji said, gripping his swords tighter, "Honestly, I just want an excuse to cut you some more."

"You're not walking out of this unless you're seriously injured or dead." Naruto coldly told the man, "And I'm up for both."

"Keep him there." Kyouka said as she let her naginata nailing the man to the wall, "I'll check on Kiyomi-chan."

Both boys froze at the mention of that little one's name, their eyes flashing with anger as they turned to Mizuki, who noted that with a smirk, "Still sore, aren't you?" he chuckled, "You are trying to feel good telling yourselves you're not like me, right? You two are just getting off to that crap, right!?" he gripped the naginata with one hand, making sure that arm hid his other from view.

"Like I said, that life you took is too good to be compared to yours." Ryuji spat out venomously.

"Killing you and saying it's for Ki-chan sickens me…" Naruto ground his teeth, "No, death's too good for a bastard like you. I'm with the asswipe here, you ain't leaving here without begging us to let you go to Hell!"

"You think you're better than me?" Mizuki asked with a smirk.

"Who cares?" was Naruto's reply as he grabbed the man by his collar, "All you've done is hurt others. Even your own damn allies! We are samurai, we choose to protect those we care about. You chose to go through the nine layers of Hell I've planned for you the moment you took Ki-chan from us! Hurting her just dug your grave deeper!"

"Then you're an idiot!" Mizuki cackled as he pulled out a vial and chugged down the contents.

In less than the blink of an eye, both boys were thrown back to stare at Mizuki's body convulsing. Soon after, tattoos started to crawl on his skin with a patter akin to a tiger's fur. He effortlessly took out the naginata from his shoulder and got up. Then, his body began to grow slightly taller until fur started to grow until he actually turned into a tiger man with enough muscles to rip off his clothes, sharp claws, and sharp teeth. Not only that, but his wounds had closed, leaving some nasty scars.

"What the Hell!?" Naruto shouted.

"Took the words out of my mouth." Ryuji commented as he and the blond stood up, "Any ideas?"

"You're asking me of all people!?" Naruto exclaimed in shock, knowing he wasn't that smart. But all doubts and worries were gone when Mizuki rushed at them with his claws ready, "Shit!"

Both brought up their swords to try to block the strike. The tiger man's right claws dug into Ryuji's side and slashed Naruto's chest with four bleeding lines. And just as quickly, he spun midair and kicked both into a wall like Kyouka did with them. Sliding down and landing on their rumps only hurt their pride, but the physical pain wasn't that good either. It didn't help that Mizuki was smirking as he moved closer to Kyouka.

Said orange-haired girl stood in front of Kiyomi's body, "Do what you want, but the cavalry's coming. You're not leaving here alive."

Drawing up his claws, Mizuki grinned widely, "Neither will you."

"Oi, you furry bastard!" Naruto's voice drew the tiger man's attention away from the weaponless girl, "I'm a swordsman, not a scratching post! You're going to have to do better than that to take me out!"

"Uzumaki, what're you…" Ryuji breathed out while holding his gut, and then saw Naruto had a kunai in one hand.

Placing that hand on his sword, Naruto held it vertically beside his head, glaring at Mizuki, "And you, Ryuji…" that surprised the other boy, "If you don't want to be useless, back me up."

Gritting his teeth, the other teen smirked at his rival, "That's my line, Naruto." He pushed himself off the floor, unceremoniously stumbling but managing to stand beside Naruto.

"You two have really, really, really made me mad!" Mizuki barked with laughter, "I'll enjoy turning you into minced meat!"

He threw himself at the two, both boys taking a step forward as Naruto acted. As he moved his sword as if to slash the tiger man, he swiftly moved one of his hand to throw the kunai at him. Without a chance to do anything but deflect it or risk it blinding him, Mizuki swatted aside the short projectile and was left open when the two boys jumped at him. The two had their swords sheathed and gripped the handles tightly, Naruto's right hand on the handle and his left on the sheath.

Observing what they did, Kyouka was reminded why they fought so regularly yet again, "That's right… when these two fight seriously, only the best can stop them."

Blurring out of view in a dash of speed, the two stood behind Mizuki before the mad shinobi could react, their swords drawn. Each blade had blood, which the boys cleaned by flicking their wrists to wipe it off and then sheathed them. Once the hilts clicked with the sheaths accompanied by that metallic sound, Mizuki fell to the floor with a loud roar of pain. Kyouka stared as blood pooled down under the beaten shinobi's body. And yet, the two boys weren't unscathed. Ryuji fell backwards, landing on his ass again with a hand holding his bleeding shoulder while Naruto landed on one knee, a hand on his right side's wound.

"Oi, asshole, you alright…?" Naruto asked.

Ryuji gave him a smug grin, "I should ask that, you're bleeding worse than I am…"

Naruto returned the expression, "At least I did the most damage to him…"

Kyouka sighed, "Boys will be boys." She held Kiyomi close, "We need to get you three to a hospital soon."

"Three?" Naruto asked, shock on his face, "Then, that means… Ki-chan is…"

Kyouka sighed, "She passed out due to the exhaustion, at least she didn't get hurt thanks to this." She held a lunchbox which had Naruto's name on it, with a hole from Mizuki's shuriken.

Once a baffled expression, Naruto's face turned into pure, unbridled joy, "Yeah! Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" he pumped both fists up, and immediately regretted it, "Ow, ow, ow! Ouch!"

Ryuji started to laugh, "Serves you right, Uzu- Ack, owww…" he wasn't one to talk either.

Kyouka closed her eyes, dully saying, "Boys…" then she looked at the sleeping Kiyomi, and gave her a small and sincere grin, "I kind of envy you for having these two loving you so much."

 **XXXXXX**

And that's my rap!

Sorry for cutting it like that, but I don't want to overdo it. The idea of making Naruto a samurai started when thinking that he's more a samurai than a ninja. He'd rather fight you face to face, out in the open, with all he has and all you've got. Even if the fight's unfair to him, he still gives it his all. Ninja are stealthier and use all manner of dirty tricks, which he does, but he'd still let you know who's kicking your ass.

Anyway, I'm glad I explored the possibilities of what it'd be having Naruto as a samurai. Sure, I didn't use any of the Leaf shinobi to accompany him because… it'd be a bit too close to canon. Besides, it'd be more fun this way. Think of it as Dark Souls: a guy with a sword has to fight giant monsters, crazed bastards with powerful magic and oversized weapons, and gods. Wouldn't it be cool to see that kind of underdog just go and take on such challenges? And before you say it wouldn't be possible, remember that Mifune beat Hanzo, the man that defeated Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru at their prime.

Oh, and yes, Naruto's sword is based off Mugen's from Samurai Champloo.

Swordslinger out!


End file.
